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Evil Genies

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Posted (edited) · Report post

I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited by mmiguel
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338 answers to this question

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Posted · Report post

Well... it's almost like each response is a new riddle.

:)

I know I'm enjoying it. It's fun find holes and exploits in people's wishes. :)

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Posted · Report post

I know I'm enjoying it. It's fun find holes and exploits in people's wishes. :)

LoL, It's fun to read about others finding holes and exploits in people's wishes.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

EDIT:

I wish I was dead and cannot be revived.

Edited by TheChad08
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Posted (edited) · Report post

Yeah, this probably should be in games, riddles and puzzles and stuff general can be solved, open ended stuff usually goes elsewhere.

granted, and he logically deduces a murder leading to you as a primary suspect.

okay super -powers eh?

i wish for the ability to control luck.

2881lihp

(There, go back to the the dimension you came from ;P)

EDIT:

I wish I was dead and cannot be revived.

You are a vampire and are constantly stalked by screaming "tween" girls who mistake you for the guy from Twilight.

Edited by Yoruichi-san
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Posted · Report post

Oh right, I should add a wish, sorry...

umb...I wish for a Death Note :D.

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Posted · Report post

Vampires aren't dead.

A zombie would be a better answer, but they are the living dead, so technically alive.

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Posted · Report post

okay how about this, your body is dead but you are still conscious, your existence consists of staring up at wooden board till the end of time.

to yoruichan:

granted you get a note describing your imminent death in all the gory details.

i wish for something different.

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Posted · Report post

Vampires aren't dead.

Uh...they are dead by many definitions, and in many portrayals, i.e. their heart doesn't beat and there are many lines in vampire movies/novels etc playing on their being dead. Sure, you could argue they're alive, but I thought the point of this was to come up with any reasonable response to 'corrupt' the wish.

@phil: you are now a cockroach. Different enough?

I wish the new Thor movie was out already ^_^ .

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Posted · Report post

granted, but as it's not finished, its crappy as all heck.

i wish pizza was twice as tasty and and half as bad for you.

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Posted · Report post

granted, but as it's not finished, its crappy as all heck.

i wish pizza was twice as tasty and and half as bad for you.

Okay, but it's twenty times as expensive.

Hmm...what's an interesting wish...

...okay, I wish there was a threshold IQ for people to vote for president of the US, congress, governors etc.

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Posted · Report post

Okay, but it's twenty times as expensive.

Hmm...what's an interesting wish...

...okay, I wish there was a threshold IQ for people to vote for president of the US, congress, governors etc.

Your wish is my command. The threshold is....how about 60. Your IQ has to be lower than that to vote. Plus it is illegal to require someone to take a test to be able to vote so enjoy prison.

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Posted · Report post

Your wish is my command. The threshold is....how about 60. Your IQ has to be lower than that to vote. Plus it is illegal to require someone to take a test to be able to vote so enjoy prison.

Well, it seems that is the case already, from a social science perspective: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_voting

Also, I didn't specify they had to take a test...can't genies make IQ sniffing dogs ;P?

Okay...I found a cheat sheet...

eyelash_wish_log.png

Yes, I definitely wish for a Pokeball that works on strangers' pets :D.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

granted, i really want to twist this one but its sufficiently awesome non-standard wish. congrats!

i wish to be able to manufacture and sell fully functional light sabers at a cost of about 200 dollars a sabre, and still make a profit.

Edited by phil1882
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Posted · Report post

Yes, I definitely wish for a Pokeball that works on strangers' pets :D.

Ok, but the pet dies when inside the pokeball due to being squished/can't breathe.

granted, i really want to twist this one but its sufficiently awesome non-standard wish. congrats!

i wish to be able to manufacture and sell fully functional light sabers at a cost of about 200 dollars a sabre, and still make a profit.

Ok, but after your first sale someone reverse engineers it and sells them for $100 a sabre and makes a profit...

oh, they kill you with it after buying it too.

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Posted · Report post

I wish for world peace.

Who among you is willing to be a jerk?

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Posted (edited) · Report post

I wish for world peace.

Who among you is willing to be a jerk?

An evil demi-god puts everyone in the world under his mind control powers and they all serve him as peaceful, will-less slaves. "I have come set you free...from freedom." ;)

(Hey it's okay for him to be a jerk as long as he's a sexy jerk ;P)

I wish for a cure for cancer to be discovered within the next year...and will not cause a zombie apocalypse (yes, I've seen Legend :P).

Edited by Yoruichi-san
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Posted · Report post

An evil demi-god puts everyone in the world under his mind control powers and they all serve him as peaceful, will-less slaves. "I have come set you free...from freedom." ;)

(Hey it's okay for him to be a jerk as long as he's a sexy jerk ;P)

I wish for a cure for cancer to be discovered within the next year...and will not cause a zombie apocalypse (yes, I've seen Legend :P).

This should be the response at all beauty pageants.

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Posted · Report post

Oh? I didn't realize beauty queens understood the fine points of the zombie apocalypse :P.

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Posted · Report post

Oh? I didn't realize beauty queens understood the fine points of the zombie apocalypse :P.

They don't, they only wish for world peace.

That's why they would be really confused when the announcer responds as you did :)

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Posted · Report post

Granted, we find yet another way to cure cancer in lab mice that ends up not panning out in human clinical trials.

I wish for a Wolfgang (guitar). A standard, fully functioning one that was not stolen and is not filled with fire ants.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

granted, its fully functional, but plays like crap.

i wish for a nice nap that lasts 30 minutes.

Edited by phil1882
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Posted · Report post

Okay,.but you forgot to turn the stove off before you took the nap and you wake up to your house on fire.

I wish every day were Saturday.

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Posted · Report post

granted, there is only 1 day a week, and it is Saturday, alas you still have to work 8 hours a day, and 5 out of 7 days.

or conversely the exact same Saturday keeps repeating for you.

i wish to discover my purpose in life, and it would be something positive.

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Posted · Report post

i wish to discover my purpose in life, and it would be something positive.

Your purpose is become the first human lightning rod, by having the molecules of your body become positively charged at the same time.

I wish for a bumper sticker for my front bumper that says, in reverse lettering, "If you can read this: go faster." ;P

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Posted · Report post

Fine, but the bumper sticker peeled off because you went too fast.

I wish that I am (now and forever) and omniscient all powerful god.

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