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A 4 year old boy was told to pray before his family ate dinner that night. He prayed about how great Jesus was for saving us. He also prayed about the food and bleesed the potatos, peas, pie, cobbler, rolls, beans, okra, and turkey. He paused a moment and every one waited. Finally, he looked up at his mom and said, "If I told God to bless the broccoli, wouldn't he know that I'm lying?"

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How bout this?

A pastor said that for next week's preaching would be about the sin of lying. He told the congregation to read mark 17.

Next week, he asked who read Mark 17 by raising their hands. Everyone raised there hand. The pastor then said that Mark has only 16 chapters. "Now I will begin in this week's sermon: the sin of lying."

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A sunday school teacher told her class to raise there hand if they knew what she was talking about.

Teacher: They climb in trees (long pause), eats nuts (kid are perplexed and another long pause), and get scared easily.

Little Jimmy: *raises hand*

Teacher: Finally! What do you think it is, Little Jimmy?

Little Jimmy: I know what your describing MUST be God, but it sounds more like a squirrel.

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A sunday school teacher told her class to raise there hand if they knew what she was talking about.

Teacher: They climb in trees (long pause), eats nuts (kid are perplexed and another long pause), and get scared easily.

Little Jimmy: *raises hand*

Teacher: Finally! What do you think it is, Little Jimmy?

Little Jimmy: I know what your describing MUST be God, but it sounds more like a squirrel.

I dont get it.

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Two painters had been painting houses for over a year,and it was going too slow,and they were very frustrated. One day one of the painters came up to the other and said." You know,I've been thinkin,we really haven't acomplished much in a year's work,and it's just going too darn slow. I have an idea. How about we thin our paint out with water, and that way it will go faster and farther."Sounds like a good idea to me",said the other. So,they went on like this for another year or so,when one day one of the painters came to the other and said." I have been feeling very convicted about what we're doing,and I think we should repaint all the houses that we thinned out with water" "All the houses!",said the other."Are you crazy?" Why the sudden conviction?" "Well",the painter replied."Last night I was sleeping soundly,when all of a sudden I was awakened by this nine foot angel standing by the foot of my bed. I was so scared,I couldn't speak. But the angel,He pointed one giant finger at me and said,"Repaint you thinner,and go a thin no more."

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WWII soldier 1: You know a lot of Germans are Chrisyians. They pray to God just like we do. I bet some of them are over there praying that same prayer right now.

*long pause*

WWII soldier 2:Do you really think the Lord understands German?

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A little boy was failing math class. His parents tried all sorts of tutoring and eventually sent him to tutoring from a Christian church due to the fact he ignored his other tutors. When he got his next report card he had 100% in math. His parents asked their son what miracle had happened. He said "When I saw that they nailed someone to a plus sign I knew they weren't kidding around!"

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You can change it around with Abraham Lincoln too like this

WARNING :excl: NON CHRISTIAN JOKE ALERT

Man to lazy son: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was chopping down trees and hunting for his family

Vice versa to above: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.

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You can change it around with Abraham Lincoln too like this

WARNING :excl: NON CHRISTIAN JOKE ALERT

Man to lazy son: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was chopping down trees and hunting for his family

Vice versa to above: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.

yep it looks like the one i was going to put.

a teacher saying to an underachiever 12years old: When Napoleon Bonaparte was your age he was the first in his class.

Vice versa to above:When the same Napoleon Bonaparte was you age he was an EMPEROR

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