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SCHIST - A type of rock.

BOVINE FECES - The solid waste of a cow or bull.

UNDERWORLD - Where dead people are. (Not really a profanity substitute, but I've heard it used.)

MY ATHEIST BELIEFS SEND IT TO THE UNDERWORLD - Who can guess what I got this substitute from?

WITH BLOOD ON IT - Bloody

THE UNDERWORLD WITH BLOOD ON IT - Bloody hell

Yes, I know, some of these are lame.

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