[Guest]

Have you ever wondered why english is so interesting, diverse and a bit weired at times....

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly

answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run

over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by

proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when

you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Rectify (v). described in the Karma Sutra!

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any

word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one

letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little

sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject

financially impotent for an indefinite period.

3. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

6. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

7. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

8. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a

serious bummer.

9. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the

fruit you're eating.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've

accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

And the pick of the literature: *Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid

and an...... well go figure!

[peace*out]

Lol, love them all!