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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/27/12 in Posts

  1. 9 points
    What happens in quantum statistical thermodynamics stays in quantum statistical thermodynamics...b/c no one else cares.
  2. 9 points
    Out of the frying pan and on to the floor. Back into the frying pan, let hope none of the guests saw.
  3. 8 points
    Use caution when travelling the rural areas of China, because in China, all cows know kung-fu and can tell when you're thinking about steak!
  4. 8 points
    That would seem more impressive if we added a molten lava volcano to the end of every sentence, replacing the last word of the molten lava volcano.
  5. 8 points
    Whoa!! Potential bacon in earshot!
  6. 8 points
    Thanks for the suggestion. If anybody could draw some quality vector graphics symbolizing BrainDen (eg. including taser) then I will consider putting it on 404 page
  7. 8 points
    Agreed. One up this if you are a veteran of the great Brainden Blackout!
  8. 7 points
    A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician. "You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: "I told you, I knew the secret!" "What is your secret?" the mathematician asked. "It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine." "But, three and five is eight," the mathematician protested. "I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9!"
  9. 7 points
    Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was profanity; those that weren't profanity were, to say the least, rude. Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, anything she could think of. Nothing worked. She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird became even madder and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace. For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming. Then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm. Perfectly calm, the parrot said, "I am very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior, and I am sure it will never happen again." Mary was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"
  10. 7 points
    That was so unexpected, I didn't know that a giraffe could play the piccolo, let alone doing it underwater
  11. 7 points
    I never thought, therefore I never was.
  12. 7 points
    (ghost) I never thought MiKi would do that to me for ticking her off!!!
  13. 7 points
    Getting my sister in trouble for trolling me in college; it was totally worth it!!!
  14. 7 points
    Last year, Japanese scientists ... erm, well ... Last month, Japanese scientists started electrocuting you (& your food) - but just a wee bit! Last week, Japanese scientisits decided to combine the two & amp up the voltage so you wouldn't realize you were eating poo - or that you have a new hairdo! (Let me wipe that drool up for you.)
  15. 7 points
    out of the frying pan and-------onto the automatic waterfall glazing machine!
  16. 7 points
    Pandas would never run in the first place.
  17. 7 points
    I don't know what I'll find at the end of this. Oh look, it was period. Now I don't know what I'll find at the end of this-apparently a dash. Huh. Now to try & get tricky ... What will I find at the end of this? (Drat, should've seen that one coming.)
  18. 7 points
    Turn about is about to turn.
  19. 7 points
    You can shoot the gun, but...add the bullets, first... ...noobs...
  20. 6 points
    Why, I oughta teach ya'll good grammers.
  21. 6 points
    That would seem more impressive if...I had any idea what you were talking about .
  22. 6 points
    Welcome! If you haven't run screaming yet, you should do well here. If you did run screaming, come back, you're safe, honest! Take a look around, try out riddles & logic puzzles & games, & generally have a good time. Hope to "see" you around!
  23. 6 points
    Life is a journey through my ex(is)tensive years. Of gaining wisdom: I have finally come to realize the answer to everything, eloquently stated as follows - It is what it is, & it ain't what it ain't, 'cept when it is what it ain't, & that's that. (& also 42)
  24. 6 points
    When I check BrainDen, I jump for joy because IT'S FINALLY BACK UP AND I NOW HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!
  25. 5 points
    WAYS TO DISTURB, SCARE, AND ANNOY A ROOMMATE - Pee in a jar and tell your roommate that its for a science project and put it beside your bed.When your roommate goes to sleep replace the jar with another one filled with apple juice. When your roommate wakes up, unknowingly drink the apple juice. - Make a chalk outline of yourself on the floor and when your roomate enters the room, reassure him/her and tell him/her that its nothing. When s/he talks about it again, change the subject. - Get an imaginary cat and some coffee beans and before your roommate walks in the room, put the coffee beans in a cluster on the floor. When your roommate walks in, scream at the imaginary cat and tell him to learn how touse the litterbox. - When your roommate calls you, breath deeply into the phone for 10 seconds and hang up. POST MORE IF YOU WANT TO!!!!!!
  26. 5 points
    eq ( 1 ) Study = not failed eq. ( 2 ) not study = failed add eq ( 1 ) & ( 2 ) study + not study = fail + not fail study ( 1 + not ) = fail ( 1 + not ) study = fail Then why should we study??
  27. 5 points
    Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
  28. 5 points
    ... he learned the race isn't a potato sack race
  29. 5 points
    Nevermind. It's too long.
  30. 5 points
    A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Two Blondes With Hammers...Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ' Why are you Throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end & I throw them away.' Judy got completely upset & yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You might have to think twice about this one.. A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these implants... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad Hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he Decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the Tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little Harder, & still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ These are just too cute not to pass on!!!! A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took It to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things Cold,' she replied.. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied..... 'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
  31. 5 points
    If there is something you should never forget, chances are you have forgotten it already.
  32. 5 points
    *cleans knife and puts it away* And that's why she should have never ticked me off. Lol, jk, I'm not a murderer.
  33. 5 points
    Everyone thinks I look semi-spherical. But that's just how I roll.
  34. 5 points
    A piece of string is twice as long as its middle to either end.
  35. 5 points
    Getting in trouble for trolling my brother during his first week in college; it was totally worth it!!!
  36. 5 points
    What most people don't realize is the Mayan calendar is ... cyclical! When you get to the end, you go back to the beginning. So when the Mayan long-count & galactic day calendars coincide to "end" on Dec 21 2012, it's like New Year's Eve for the next 5126 years. (So we should throw one heck of a party, yes? ) Thalia, just to clarify: The Mayan calendar didn't have to take into account leap years. It's actually more specific than the Gregorian calendar (that most of the world uses) which has to have leap years. So saying the Mayan calendar was "wrong" because it didn't have leap years is incorrect. It was the people doing the math to calculate the end of the long-count cycle who didn't take into account leap years & the adjustments made to our calendar cycle over time. Of course, there's also the thought that the original start date of the cycle could have been mis-interpreted, and we may have already passed the into the new cycle ... as much as a decade or possibly even a century ago. Or that it's actually next year or two years away from now. *shrug* At any rate, I'm sure enough that the world isn't ending just because I have to buy a new calendar. I do that every year anyway. (Now, world ending because some idiot decides it'd be a grand idea to declare nuclear war - I can see that happening anytime.)
  37. 5 points
    What happens inside of my head at time I just don't know.
  38. 5 points
    Last week, Japanese scientists determined that this week, they would be determining what they did last week.
  39. 5 points
    Out of the frying pan...came the best looking bit of coal I ever did see...it's quite odd, though...to think it had started out as a piece of chicken...
  40. 5 points
    if what you dont know wont kill you and what wont kill you makes you stronger, then what you dont know must make you stronger.
  41. 5 points
    What you don't know will ALWAYS be in the test.
  42. 5 points
    A kid dressed as a pirate goes to a house, and the woman at the house says, "Well are you a cute pirate. But where are your buckineers.? The kid replies, "In my buckin' hat."
  43. 5 points
    Ah, bless you for yer honesty, LI . Guess it's my turn now to apologise to everyone else . Sorry everybody!
  44. 5 points
    when brainden came back online, I had to be rushed to hospital because of the excitement.
  45. 5 points
    When I checked my tires, there was no air in my spare - time I did something about that ... Oops, too late, DH ran over something. New tires it is. (This happened 2 weeks ago.)
  46. 5 points
    Keep asking weird/stupid questions. (Why are your eyes brown? Why is a banana yellow? What color is an orange? How does my shoe smell *hold shoe to their nose* ? What's the difference between god and the devil? Why are you putting rope around your neck?)
  47. 4 points
    rookie for BD, LiD for smileys, Y-san for enigmas, PG for donuts, plasmid for letting us know who he's not, slick for rollin', & fabby for ... well, being fabulous, obviously.
  48. 4 points
    Now that would seem more impressive if the cake was torus shaped, hand-held sized, deep fried, and coated with a sugary sweet confection.
  49. 4 points
    Did a Spartan race, These are awesome! very excited and want to do more It's a 5k obstacle course. crawling under barb wire in the mud, running through the forset in the mud, wading through a stream of mud up to your chest, carring cinderblocks through the mud, climbing mud covered ropes. Basically its a mud race I am a dirty dirty boy
  50. 4 points
    Don't know how this'll translate, but what the hey.... The two longest motorways in Britain, the M6 and the M1, are in a bar having a drink. M6 is in boastful mood. "I'm the hardest motorway in Britain! Chuck Norris has nothin on me! I'll take on anybody.." With that, the bar door opens and in walks a thin strip of green asphalt. M6 suddenly ducks down hiding behind a table. M1 looks down at him. "What are doing cowering down there M6? I thought you were tough....scared of no-one?" "Yeah", says M6 "But he's a cyclepath"
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