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A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician. "You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: "I told you, I knew the secret!" "What is your secret?" the mathematician asked. "It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine." "But, three and five is eight," the mathematician protested. "I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9!"

Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was profanity; those that weren't profanity were, to say the least, rude. Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, anything she could think of. Nothing worked. She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird became even madder and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace. For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming. Then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm. Perfectly calm, the parrot said, "I am very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior, and I am sure it will never happen again." Mary was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

eq ( 1 ) Study = not failed eq. ( 2 ) not study = failed add eq ( 1 ) & ( 2 ) study + not study = fail + not fail study ( 1 + not ) = fail ( 1 + not ) study = fail Then why should we study??

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

I think someone has an issue with me. I have been working hard to keep the forum questions alive but someone or maybe several people have gone through and have marked down every entry i have posted. This upsets me and makes me not want to continue participating here.

In an insane asylum, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them an intelligence test. He turns to the first man and asks, "What is three times three?" "274," he replies. The Doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The Doctor turns to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man proudly. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you arrive at that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

If I only knew that I'd end up with cronic heart palpitations and a compressed spine from sitting hunched over a computer all the time, I would never have started down this slippery slope called "mafia".

Though i am immortal, but the page no. 140 of my dictionary is, where i met death.

rookie for BD, LiD for smileys, Y-san for enigmas, PG for donuts, plasmid for letting us know who he's not, slick for rollin', & fabby for ... well, being fabulous, obviously.

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.

Fair enough. Honestly, though, from the admittedly little I've read, I feel kinda sorry for her. I had an awkward childhood, being a geek, introvert, one of those creative ppl who are hyper-sensitive (supposedly it's why so many, like, famous artists, poets, composers, and whatnot go insane), and, like, only Asian person at my school. I didn't develop very good social skills, well, any social skills at all, really, until I went to a college where the majority of the population was actually more socially awkward than me! . Later, I met a girl who had the same issues as I did when I was younger and I felt really bad for her, I wished I had helped her more, but I think I was afraid...maybe of exposing myself to my memories of hard times . I dunno...I think my biggest regrets in life are when I feel like I could have helped ppl but I chose not to...:/ Anyways, I wish the best for this Sakura Chan and hope she'll eventually find her way like I did, I would like to thank you for sharing your perspective, and I hope ppl here treat and are treated with the respect and kindness they deserve .

It swung once. Then twice. then the cantaloupe being launched from the catapult was going, going, gone, speared perfectly by the flag on top of the White House.

We changed the description of the role at the last minute (same abilities, but we made it clearer). No other reason. I like that explanation better than the one I would have given which was "Oops, I made a mistake". Anyway, if you thought maybe mock trial was a secret indy, no he is the real goodie, all the dark blue ones are the secret indies. (joking, definitely joking. There is no secret anything.)

Theorem: All numbers are boring. Proof (by contradiction): Suppose x is the first non-boring number. Who cares?

$1 = 100 cents = (10 cents)2 = ($0.1)2 = $0.01 = 1c

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person. - They have multiplied, said the biologist. - Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed. - If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

You can get into politics if you act like you're smart. You can't stay in politics, however, if you're actually smart. You'll be found out & replaced.

Nuptual?

I assume that they also all get the clue that their numbers are unique.

With a tip of the hat to @BMAD for his interesting puzzle. For your amusement, here's an interesting spin on this genre: One night you encounter a two-hour traffic delay due to an accident (the tow truck had difficulty clearing the road.) So, for a time interval 13 of two hours you were constrained to travel at 0 mph. You called home and said, sorry dear, but I'll be two hours late getting home. The next night, for some unimaginable reason, you were also constrained to travel part of the way at 0 mph, this time for a distance of one inch. What do you say now when you call home?

In our circles you may find A laugh, a wink, a grin But pressure us we'll likely snap And send away our kin. We don't do much, we go to pot Such simple ones are we But with your hand we take command Or from you we will flee.

Agree. When I hit the send button, I realized my thinking was too simple. But instead of deleting my post (moderator privilege) I left it to take its licks.

Say we want to simulate an N sided die.

I swear: 1) To strangle the next person who uses 'suicide' as a verb. 2) That if I offended or hurt you in any way, I didn't mean it. 3) That I'll stop procrastinating. Tomorrow. Add whatever you swear.

This also reminds me of this (Concave and Convex by MC Escher):

With a little bit of magical sleight-of-letter:

I want you to remember me as the guy in your backyard, holding a Molotov cocktail in one hand and a chain saw in the other, standing in the birdbath. Just because I can.

If I only knew which smiley EDM liked the best:

At first MiKi was going, going, gone. Now she's coming, coming, back. ((Basically just spreading the news of my return to the soul-sucking websites that are BD and MM ))

if a kill is not blocking, neither the save nor the kill need be in the oop. But if a kill is blocking, they should both be in the oop. Anyways, you handled the game like a pro, good job.

W00T! Good game! Music triumphs again!

It's a shame, though. the older, better generations of mafiosos and mafiosas seem to have moved on from the Den.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vLNOpoQztFo

The spring is in your step b/c someone *cough* O:) put silly putty on the bottom of your shoes.

the root of all that is negative is complex

When I was five, my uncle offered me a 2 for 1 deal: two dimes for my one quarter...unfortunately for him, the Mathgirl gene expresses itself at a young age ;P.

If you act like you're smart...you're probably pretty stupid...

You know you're a grammar Nazi when you look at the latest post in One Up Me by flamebirde and you smile because he used "you're" instead of "your."

Out of the frying pan and on to the floor. Back into the frying pan, let hope none of the guests saw.

Pandas would never run in the first place.

I would think that the only way to make ANY sense of the situation is for the woman to repeat back to the croc EXACTLY what he said to HER: "If I guess right, you'll give my baby back, if I dont, you'll eat him. That's what you'll do to him." He'd have to return the baby, because she's CORRECT NO MATTER WHAT. Eh? hehehe