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I think that plainglazed has it. I should have realized this might be a different type of riddle than usual when I started reaching at straws like cloned hobbits.

Several ways to solve this one: First, find out how much soap is used annually by NYC train authority to clean windows, estimate total fleet size, frequency of cleaning schedule, soap needed per square foot, number of windows per train - and you got your answer Second, windows are held by rubber caulking. They tend to get brittle over time and need replacement, FInd out how many feet of rubber caulking was purchased by NYC train authority ( probably the same person who gave you the soap used), estimate lifetime replacement cycle of rubber caulking, number of trains in system, number of windows and with the circumference get the total area Third, train windows shatter rather often. Estimate number of shatters/year/train. Ask the same guy at NYC train authority how much glass they buy each year, use the same info as above and you'll get the glass area Fourth, Google Bombardier's web site, ( the manufacturer of NYC trains) , find the right - or approximate picture of train in web site. Web site probably also gives typical dimensions of trains and thus estimate window size ( # of windows too). Alternative, estimate window size by comparing known entities in pictures ( eg.. human being, lamp post, etc. etc) and work from there to get window dimensions. You can probably get the exact # of windows from one of these nice sales pictures Bombardier has in their web site Finally, go to Linkedin, pose the question - who works at PPG ( the glass manufacture of these windows) and get him/her to provide the right area per window, Estimate # of windows from above other options and get the necessary square footagekarchimex

I can't make any of these fit adequately no matter how hard I try to force a square peg into a round hole, so I'd guess you're neither

yes sp, thanks for the explanation. and et @ superprismatique - mais bien sur

Here's an attempt.

What skullduggery - nay, witchcraft, is this? My beautiful picture vanish-ed while I was sleeping...

(Theme: ) (Scene: An autumnal conclave of Witches and Sorcerers. Seated about a long table, these mysterious magicians chatter of rituals and illusions until the Sapphire Witch rises from her seat, silencing them all.) Sapphire Witch.  Rejoice! All-Hallows Eve is nigh,  The hornèd moon doth crown the sky,  Yon clock-tower tolls the long day’s knell --  The rush hour traffic dies as well.  But Witch’s revels such as these  Bow not to dull solemnities.  Come, comrades, conjurers, and kin,  And let our mystic play begin! Ruby Sorcerer.  I am the Witch of Transmutation  Who shares the Witch of Vision’s station.  With staves in hand and scrolls unfurled,  Together, we create a world,  And bind the mind with sigils, giving  Life unto the once-unliving. Sapphire Witch.  Crowther, arise! I summon thee  To pose our first perplexity. (Crowther, an Animate, presents the first riddle to great applause:) I’m born when a boy makes a foolish mistake; I’m emboldened by drink to make mighty men quake; I’m courageous or cold in the presence of death, And I’ll wrack you and twist you and rob you of breath. Witch of Secrets.  By Hecate’s scythe-blade, what an old device --  A greybeard Animate in a younger mask.  The Witch of Secrets casts a fresher spell  That mortal eyes have ne’er beheld before! (The Witch unfurls a scroll, which reads:) My first is in FILLINGS, but not in BRACES, My second’s in TENNIS, but not in RACES. My third’s in the SOIL, but not in the SEAS, My fourth in CANDY STORES, not PARFUMERIES. My fifth is in STORMS, not merely in GALES, My sixth in the STREETS, but not on the RAILS. My seventh in a TILT, but not in a QUAKE, My eighth in the OCEAN, but not in a LAKE. My ninth hides in DARKNESS, under a pall – My ninth may not be my ninth at all. (Applause. As this illusion fills the air, two younger people arise and bow. The Ochre Sorcerer introduces them.) Ochre Sorcerer.  It looks like we’ve got two apprentices  With us tonight, and each of them has spun  A spell to show us all the tricks they’ve learned.  As Witch of Curiosity, I say,  Let’s see these novice conjurings at once! (The Crimson Apprentice, a fledgling Witch of thirteen, is the first to rise to the challenge with an illusion. Her mother assisted her in the editing, but the essential form of the ritual is her own.) Crimson Apprentice.  It’s really hard to make a perfect crime,  But here’s a mystery I have to share: A dozen men are on their backs and none can call for aid; Our culprit paints them gleefully with runes of garish shade. He locks up all the bodies till they’re stiff, and when he’s done… Off with their heads! Off with their limbs! One by one by one! No matter how he maims them, police won’t come around, And even if they did, the bodies never would be found. (Applause, and some nervous looks. The Opal Apprentice, a boy younger than the Crimson Apprentice, poses a spell crafted with the help of the Sapphire Witch herself. He places a chessboard upon the table, as well as a bucket of pieces - black shapes in conical hats.) A Witch in a chess game’s a powerful thing; It can move like a bishop or move like a king. So how many Witches, one way or another, Can fit on this board without threatening each other? (The assembled Witches set to solving these riddles...) ***** Before I allow you to glimpse the Epigraph itself, let me test your mettle with these apprentice's riddles. I doubt they shall delay you for long, but perhaps your struggles will entertain me. With all due courtesy, The Witch of Secrets

I can mentor if you'd like. I'm just not ready to fully commit to reading the 100 pages that I'm sure will result if curr3nt gets involved at this point in time. *Remembers the horror of seeing 5 pages of email notifications from previous mafias* Lol. Chemistry takes priority at the moment.