Jump to content
BrainDen.com - Brain Teasers
  • 0


Guest
 Share

Question

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

23. It is sometimes best to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool then open it and let them know they are right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 answers to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

When God gives you lemons, make grape juice and let everyone else wonder how you did it.

Also, when god gives you lemons...find a new god.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

:lol: 3 years ago, we had that poster in the bathroom at school. Well, not that poster, but a real version of the saying. But :lol:, I like this one more!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

23. It is sometimes best to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool then open it and let them know they are right.

HAHA. I remember this one, although I believe the quote reads: "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

lol I saw lots of these some time ago. I even made a .txt file :lol:

Here are a few of them:

-Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

-I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

-Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

-Contrary to popular belief, "Damn It" is not God's last name.

-Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

-By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.

-If vegetarians eat vegetables.. what do humanitarians eat?

-Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?

-My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

-An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

-Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

-This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Answer this question...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...