Crazy People

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In an insane asylum, three patients are up for release. The Doctor decides to give them an intelligence test. He turns to the first man and asks, "What is three times three?"

"274," he replies.

The Doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The Doctor turns to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man proudly.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you arrive at that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

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An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn't care.

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A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

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An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.

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A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.
- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.

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COMBINATION: 6120

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$1 = 100 cents
= (10 cents)2
= ($0.1)2
= $0.01
= 1c

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Theorem: All numbers are boring.
Proof (by contradiction):
Suppose x is the first non-boring number. Who cares?

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eq ( 1 ) Study = not failed

eq. ( 2 ) not study = failed

add eq ( 1 ) & ( 2 )

study + not study = fail + not fail

study ( 1 + not ) = fail ( 1 + not )

study = fail

Then why should we study??

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Proof : 1 Clever Person = 1 mad person

assume 1 clever person

= 1/2 clever person + 1/2 clever persons

( if one person is 1/2 clever that means he is 1/2 mad )

= 1/2 mad + 1/2 mad

= 1 mad.

hence proved.

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  1. The next sentence is true but you must not believe it
  2. The previous sentence was false
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$1 = 100 cents

= (10 cents)2

= ($0.1)2

= $0.01

= 1c

Lmao....

clever indeed!

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Proof that 1 = 2:

Let x = 1

x+1 = 2

x(+1) = 2

1x = 2

x = 2

Therefore 1 = 2

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.

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Here's something that happened to me in real life:

My sister is play basketball, and she finally scores and tells my father.

"So, you scored one of those 'touchdowns', did you?" my dad says sarcastically.

My sister replies, "NO! I wasn't playing baseball!"

If you don't like it and want math, then here is something.

.999...... = x Multiply by ten

9.999...... = 10x Subtract by x.

9 = 9x And divide by nine.

1 = x = which also equals 0.999.....

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post-53485-0-62639600-1366140763_thumb.p

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These are hilarious, especially the last one.

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Posted (edited) · Report post

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Edited by BMAD
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