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Evil Genies


mmiguel
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I thought this might be fun, but maybe it will flop.

A person finds a magic lamp with an evil genie inside.

The person may ask for any wish to be granted.

The genie, spiteful for having to serve a pitiful little human with his phenomenal cosmic powers, wants to make his master regret every wish that is made.

Posters, assume the role of either the genie of the human.

Rules:

I. Both genie and human are powerless to change these rules

II. As the human , you should wish for something that most people would actually find desirable.

III. Everything the human explicitly wished for must come true, and all harm (physical, mental, psychological, ...etc) that the spiteful genie inflicts should ultimately derive from a creative interpretation of the wish (e.g. deliberately ignoring common implications in speech that are not explicitly stated, or taking things out of context, ...etc). E.g. it's cheating if a person wishes for a million dollars, and the genie gives him a million dollars and also dumps a bucket of lava on his head (lava has nothing to do with the wish). It's not cheating if a person wishes for eternal life, and the genie prevents them from ever dying, but allows their body to to continue to age and weaken normally forever into some grotesque shamble that doesn't even look human - in this case, the person's eventual regret derives from making the wish in the first place.

IV. The genie cannot control his master's mind. This may sound good for the master, but it prevents the genie from being able to grant wishes like: I wish to always be happy forever.

V. Off limits: Wishing for more wishes, wishing for multiple things in one wish. The wish should be one thing possibly followed by further clarifications that specify the one thing. Cannot undo wishes.

Challenge:

Humans: Find an uncorruptible wish.

Genies: Corrupt every wish

Let's see who wins!

Here's one to start with:

"I wish to be the most intelligent person ever"

Edited by mmiguel
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I wish to always obtain or experience whatever I want, and to never obtain or experience whatever I don't want, where my wants are evaluated at the time the thing is to be obtained or experienced, and as such actions are applicable per the genie code.

Edited by mmiguel
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I wish to know an incorruptible wish.

granted, its the wish you don't make.

I wish to be able to travel to any point in space time (accurately), which I select, whenever I want.

granted, this includes a strong desire to teleport into the middle of a black hole.

I wish to always obtain or experience whatever I want, and to never obtain or experience whatever I don't want, where my wants are evaluated at the time the thing is to be obtained or experienced, and as such actions are applicable per the genie code.

granted, you are given the desire for nothing, which you obtain.

I wish to ace my midterm.

granted, you do so by cheating, which is revealed by your teacher in front of everyone.

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You have it, but the grammar nazis led by phaze come confiscate it as punishment for poor sentence structure.

I wish to be unable to feel without loss of consciousness, mobility, functionality, or vitality. (and don't try saying I'll not be able to feel good feelings either...as far as I'm concerned, all feelings are a nuisance ;P)

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You have it, but the grammar nazis led by phaze come confiscate it as punishment for poor sentence structure.

I wish to be unable to feel without loss of consciousness, mobility, functionality, or vitality. (and don't try saying I'll not be able to feel good feelings either...as far as I'm concerned, all feelings are a nuisance ;P)

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Granted but it came from Ikea so some assembly is required and the instructions are in Swedish (you think).

I wish that Yoruichi-san was a kitten.

-edit-

And by some assembly is required I mean a LOT of assembly is required.

Edited by curr3nt
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Sry about the dbl post. Actually, most things 'robot' humans do are directed by their feelings, in an endeavor to attain their desires, i.e. go to work to earn money to have a house, car, 2.5 kids, etc. If I didn't have feelings I'd be better equipped to be a perfect Machiavellian prince...like Adrian Viedt ;P.

Lol...next you'll be wishing that I gave birth to myself...(btw, I'm actually allergic to cats, so thanks...I'm now allergic to myself XP)

I wish for a clone of me to take my place in my life and responsibilities so that I could go out and have adventures :D.

Edited by Yoruichi-san
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Granted. It turns out that the mannequin you "stole" was Kim Cattrall http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093493/ so therefore not stolen property. However you are now Andrew McCarthy and had to act in Weekend at Bernie's 2. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108539/

I wish phaze was actually Andrew McCarthy.

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Granted, organizes air flights for everyone who runs faster than Y-San using his/her/its* credit card.

* depending on the body that has been vacated so you can re-possess it

I wish for a safe landing for 6.9999999999 billion people currently aboard planes

Edit: Wow, we are up to around 7billion people on earth

Edited by phaze
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You have it, but the grammar nazis led by phaze come confiscate it as punishment for poor sentence structure.

I wish to be unable to feel without loss of consciousness, mobility, functionality, or vitality. (and don't try saying I'll not be able to feel good feelings either...as far as I'm concerned, all feelings are a nuisance ;P)

Did you just wish for leprosy?

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@phaze: Wow, I didn't realize 6.99999999 billion ppl could run better than a 3:12 marathon (that's a 7.33 minute mile, btw ;P). Also, I didn't realize kittens had credit cards...

@chad: only if Adrian Viedt was a leper...

@current: um...I'm not sure exactly what you mean, but it appears a one-way mirror is an actual thing...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-way_mirror

I wish I had perfect DDR timing (stamina and speed are no issue, I just suck at the timing :()...

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