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I'm not a patient


plasmid
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Rub my eyes as I grow ill

I'll blow my runny nose

Burning fever, shaking chill

And thus this state arose

Take to me your brandished knife

And all that runs therewith

Clear what's foul for sake of life

With potion acting swift

Fill my bowl to brim with soup

Then prod, it's down my pate

Stomach churns, perhaps recoup

Perhaps regurgitate

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My first intuition is that this is some kind of

device/appliance/machine that may or may not be broken.

My first guess, a clogged toilet/drain fits the third verse and part of the second, but totally doesn't work for the first verse at all. I'll keep thinking.

Edit:

A further hunch

Maybe it's a car or car engine - it can run hot or cold, and the brandished "knife" could be a dipstick for testing oil. The nose-blowing could be a horn?

I don't own a car, but I googled "oil change" and "spitting" and it looks like cars can spit up oil.

Edited by WitchOfDoubt
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As you say, a clogged toilet doesn't exactly work. The second guess would actually work pretty well as a story of a car breaking down - emergency blinkers, horn honking or fluid leaking, engine going from running or overheated (warm) to dead (cold), getting an oil change, then perhaps working. Quite creative and appropriate, just not what I've got in mind.

And minor edit to the riddle made purely for poetic-ish-ness's sake.

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Well, another one that works for all but the first verse is

garbage disposal

And a friend of mine, thinking outside the box, guessed

hookah

Sort of a judgement call on whether I should count that first guess as correct. But after reviewing the instant replay, I'll call the riddle solved.

actually, I just figured it was time to riddle about the kitchen sink

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Nice!

See, at one point I thought "a dripping kitchen faucet", since that has hot, cold, and a runny nose. But that wouldn't fit the "kitchen drain" clues.

I think I expected the riddle to be much more detail-specific (a sink broken in a certain way, as opposed to dripping AND clogged) and less holistic. But it's definitely fair.

Edited by WitchOfDoubt
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