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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

akaslickster

Member Since --
Offline Last Active Jul 16 2014 05:11 PM
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#335780 Blonde Jokes

Posted by akaslickster on 15 September 2013 - 07:50 PM

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game he asked her, “Did you like the game?”  She replied, “Oh, I really liked it.  I really liked the big muscles and the tight pants.  I’m not sure, though about why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”  Dumbfounded, her boyfriend said, “I don’t know what you mean?”  She said, “Well, at the beginning of the game, they flipped a coin and one team got it.  The rest of the game, they kept yelling, “Get the quarter back, get the quarterback…..I’m like….hey, it’s ONLY a quarter.”  :o  

 

 

 

Outside of USA folks. Quarter = 1/4 of US dollar coin.


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#335022 I swear:

Posted by akaslickster on 07 August 2013 - 06:15 PM

I swear I tried to get people active and promote this site to become busy with lots of members enjoying themselves, all the time, like it used to be. :(


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#330105 You know you're a math nerd when...

Posted by akaslickster on 28 March 2013 - 11:38 PM

When you buy this clock to hang in your bedroom:math%2520clock.jpg


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#327627 Submit New Optical Illusions

Posted by akaslickster on 25 January 2013 - 01:40 AM

lovers%2520%25281%2529.jpgJust in case this beautiful flower is missing:


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#326380 One Up Me

Posted by akaslickster on 02 November 2012 - 08:43 PM

If I had a dollar for every post I made, I could buy some more beer. :P
  • 1


#324027 Three Nuns

Posted by akaslickster on 10 August 2012 - 06:45 PM

Not for kids or catholics, that's for sure. I would prefer cleaner ones. That's just me I guess.
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#323209 Blonde Jokes

Posted by akaslickster on 26 July 2012 - 04:57 PM

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog..


It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.


The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"


The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Two Blondes With Hammers...Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work


on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.


Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, ' Why are you Throwing those nails away?'


Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end & I throw them away.'


Judy got completely upset & yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!


They're for the other side of the house!'


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


You might have to think twice about this one..


A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.


'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.


'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'


'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000 for these implants... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'


'So then?' asked the doctor.


'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'


'So then?'


'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad


Hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it


To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he


Decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the


Tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.


So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started


Blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little


Harder, & still nothing happened.


Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first


Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the


Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.


The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!


You need to roll up the windows first.'


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!


A blonde was shopping at Target &


came across a shiny silver Thermos.


She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took


It to the clerk to ask what it was.


The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....


It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'


'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!'


So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.


Her boss saw it on her desk.


'What's that,' he asked?


'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things


Cold,' she replied..


Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'


The blond replied.....


'Two popsicles & some coffee.'


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#322490 Kaleidescope

Posted by akaslickster on 18 July 2012 - 01:35 AM

I thought I would share this. You can mouse over slowly.


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#318277 Telephone

Posted by akaslickster on 12 June 2012 - 08:37 PM

So it IS COLORFUL!

It's in your grasp . ;)
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#317648 One Up Me

Posted by akaslickster on 07 June 2012 - 04:07 PM

Through my extensive years of gaining wisdom, I have finally come to realize that you should never tie both shoes together and try to walk. :blink:
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#316814 One Up Me

Posted by akaslickster on 30 May 2012 - 04:11 PM

When BD came back on line I found my stars missing. :o
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#316595 One Up Me

Posted by akaslickster on 26 May 2012 - 08:01 PM

Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Me hungry. :P
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#316038 Jungle Bubble

Posted by akaslickster on 17 May 2012 - 08:33 PM

http://fb.king.com/F...e=jungle_bubble
Logic and speed game.
This may require Google Chrome. I found it there. It may get you hooked like me. I am currently up to 5 stars with a score of 20,439 and it kills time so good luck!
  • -1


#315441 Fractal magnified

Posted by akaslickster on 04 May 2012 - 02:41 PM

Glad you're back too.
That was definitely amazing. Full screen is what I recommend. :thanks:
  • -1


#315343 Blonde Jokes

Posted by akaslickster on 30 April 2012 - 11:53 PM


Best blonde joke you'll ever read!


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble..

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.

I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.

She'll read it very slowly...

'com-for-da-bul.'

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