WitchOfSecrets

(Non-puzzle interlude; the mystery will continue soon.)

(Theme: A Cage of Words)

To a Rival Witch

'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this time.)
'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'

Your people are no people, I'm afraid.

  A grinning scarecrow, Lovers open-armed,
And coward kings of brittle ivory made
  Have secret lives; yours don't. And I've been charmed
By hopeful cards who winked in candlelight.
  I'll chat with chessmen, stitch a floppy hat
To perch atop a cornfield's errant knight --
  Your pieces have less guts to them than that.

You'd pen a poem neatly in a grid,
  Oil-paint a crossword, bronze a puzzle piece!
Her soul is trapped in ink, by ciphers hid,
  A cage of words denying her release.
Alive while dead, her spirit is your letter;
You'd never treat her so, if you knew better.

Sure. I can give someone disease symptoms even if I don't have them. That's called being an asymptomatic carrier.

Every 15 points away from the mean is supposed to be one standard deviation. If a big proportion of takers get over 140, the test is broken or designed to give people flattering results. Or both. Only about .5% of people - one in 200 - should do that well.

Online IQ tests are complete nonsense.

Failed by self-sabotage. People do this all the time.

Challenge: do other reasonable answers exist?

(I'm fixing some plot holes on a giant series of posts - sorry for the delay!)

(I will post something more substantive later, after work, but...)

The Golden Truth is not the truth it seems -
A trickster's bright façade, a cloak for lies.
The Golden City is a ghost of dreams;
Seek not the lost, nor trouble them to rise.

- The Witch of Secrets

Hmm... a variation you haven't heard yet... let me see...

A person said to the doctor, "Doctor I have a memory problem." Doctor, "How long had you have this problem?" Person, " what problem?"

Witch of Ciphers.
 I can fit thirteen
 Witches on the checkerboard;
 That must be the most.

Witch of Joy.

 If all of the witches are black,

 I'd say that we're on the wrong track;

  You can fit many more,

  I would say sixty-four!

 (Witches on the same side can't attack.)

Opal Apprentice.

 Thirteen is, um, what I was looking for.

 MIMULUS, that's a good guess, but I think

 It really goes against the Sphinx's Sixth.

 I trust with loyal faith, so I hate tricks

 That make you think a puzzle's something else.

 

 Cool solving, EDOGAWA! And I swear

 I'll be the Witch of Promises someday.

SHIN, the Opal Apprentice, Witch of Promises

Witch of Secrets (aside, to audience)

 My spell has chained them all with misdirection;

  The riddles that they've known become their fetters.

 Their sights set low, the truth escapes detection --

  They cannot see outside the cage of letters!

Illustration:



Yoruichi-san's solution is elegant, but I want to sell concessions at that median divider, maybe set up a traffic island, possibly a theme park.

(Theme: A Banquet of Many Years Ago)

(Scene: An autumnal conclave of Witches and Sorcerers. Seated about a long table, these mysterious magicians chatter of rituals and illusions until the Sapphire Witch rises from her seat, silencing them all.)

Sapphire Witch.

 Rejoice! All-Hallows Eve is nigh,

 The hornèd moon doth crown the sky,

 Yon clock-tower tolls the long day’s knell --

 The rush hour traffic dies as well.

 But Witch’s revels such as these

 Bow not to dull solemnities.

 Come, comrades, conjurers, and kin,

 And let our mystic play begin!

Ruby Sorcerer.

 I am the Witch of Transmutation

 Who shares the Witch of Vision’s station.

 With staves in hand and scrolls unfurled,

 Together, we create a world,

 And bind the mind with sigils, giving

 Life unto the once-unliving.

Sapphire Witch.

 Crowther, arise! I summon thee

 To pose our first perplexity.

(Crowther, an Animate, presents the first riddle to great applause:)

I’m born when a boy makes a foolish mistake;

I’m emboldened by drink to make mighty men quake;

I’m courageous or cold in the presence of death,

And I’ll wrack you and twist you and rob you of breath.

Witch of Secrets.

 By Hecate’s scythe-blade, what an old device --

 A greybeard Animate in a younger mask.

 The Witch of Secrets casts a fresher spell

 That mortal eyes have ne’er beheld before!

(The Witch unfurls a scroll, which reads:)

My first is in FILLINGS, but not in BRACES,

My second’s in TENNIS, but not in RACES.

My third’s in the SOIL, but not in the SEAS,

My fourth in CANDY STORES, not PARFUMERIES.

My fifth is in STORMS, not merely in GALES,

My sixth in the STREETS, but not on the RAILS.

My seventh in a TILT, but not in a QUAKE,

My eighth in the OCEAN, but not in a LAKE.

My ninth hides in DARKNESS, under a pall –

My ninth may not be my ninth at all.

(Applause. As this illusion fills the air, two younger people arise and bow. The Ochre Sorcerer introduces them.)

Ochre Sorcerer.

 It looks like we’ve got two apprentices

 With us tonight, and each of them has spun

 A spell to show us all the tricks they’ve learned.

 As Witch of Curiosity, I say,

 Let’s see these novice conjurings at once!

(The Crimson Apprentice, a fledgling Witch of thirteen, is the first to rise to the challenge with an illusion. Her mother assisted her in the editing, but the essential form of the ritual is her own.)

Crimson Apprentice.
 It’s really hard to make a perfect crime,
 But here’s a mystery I have to share:

A dozen men are on their backs and none can call for aid;

Our culprit paints them gleefully with runes of garish shade.

He locks up all the bodies till they’re stiff, and when he’s done…

Off with their heads!

Off with their limbs!

One by one by one!

No matter how he maims them, police won’t come around,

And even if they did, the bodies never would be found.

(Applause, and some nervous looks. The Opal Apprentice, a boy younger than the Crimson Apprentice, poses a spell crafted with the help of the Sapphire Witch herself. He places a chessboard upon the table, as well as a bucket of pieces - black shapes in conical hats.)

A Witch in a chess game’s a powerful thing;

It can move like a bishop or move like a king.

So how many Witches, one way or another,

Can fit on this board without threatening each other?

(The assembled Witches set to solving these riddles...)

*****

Before I allow you to glimpse the Epigraph itself, let me test your mettle with these apprentice's riddles.

I doubt they shall delay you for long, but perhaps your struggles will entertain me.

With all due courtesy,

The Witch of Secrets

The new chapter will begin with an opener that requires absolutely no knowledge of the previous threads to play! This will definitely help get new people involved. After that, I will index relevant posts with notes so that people can get up to speed on the most vital details.

Yoruichi-san: Thanks! It's good to have an Umineko watcher here!

If you want to know what was going on in Umineko, I recommend playing the translated sound novels! I never watched much of the anime because (I was told) it omitted the clues that were needed to have any chance of solving the story. The Witch Hunt translation group did a phenomenal job of translating the novels, with translator's notes and everything.

I'll be posting the new thread pretty soon, I think! I just need to check up on a few things.