tiger_lily111

I'd just like to thank...

rookie for BD, LiD for smileys, Y-san for enigmas, PG for donuts, plasmid for letting us know who he's not, slick for rollin', & fabby for ... well, being fabulous, obviously.

You can get into politics if you act like you're smart. You can't stay in politics, however, if you're actually smart. You'll be found out & replaced.

You know you're a grammar Nazi when you're me. Simply bow to the inevitable and declare me Fuhrer.

Anyhow.

Even if it appears to be over, stay to the end of the credits anyway. You can't leave until Ferris tells you to get out.

When Al Else fails, call his sister Alice Else. (Should've called her in the first place!)

Spoiler for Similar to Framm's first thought

My first thought was cotton candy.

Nope!

Excuse me while I go find something to eat that will rot my teeth ...

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”