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Chuck Norris Jokes


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224 replies to this topic

#61 pw0nzd

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 05:25 PM

Where is everyone getting all of these.

Spoiler for Unless...

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#62 Frost

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Posted 27 June 2008 - 05:34 PM

Where is everyone getting all of these.

Spoiler for Unless...


Chuck Norris doesn't write Chuck Norris jokes, he lives them.
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#63 Kay

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Posted 29 June 2008 - 03:12 PM

When Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," Chuck Norris took that as permission.
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#64 dnae

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Posted 29 June 2008 - 03:53 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the earth and kick himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder.
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#65 dnae

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Posted 29 June 2008 - 03:54 PM

Chuck Norris can unevolve you back into a monkey...like my avatar. :lol:
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#66 itachi-san

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Posted 30 June 2008 - 07:04 AM

One day, thousands of years ago, Chuck Norris was taking a stroll through Egypt. The Pharaoh, so frightened upon seeing him, crapped a brick. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris crapped the pyramids.

Mountains are only places where Chuck Norris hasn't walked yet.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language

The real reason Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden was because they didn't offer Chuck Norris the apple first.

Chuck Norris started the fire.

Chuck Norris can beat Kasporov in a game of chess using only one pawn

Chuck Norris can see a mosquito blink.

A roundhouse kick from Van Damme can break jars. A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris can break Mars.

Chuck Norris doesn't lock his doors at home. He encourages intruders as much as possible

You can't beat Chuck Norris, and you can't join him.

If the ground hog sees his shadow, its going to be a long summer. If the ground hog sees Chuck Norris' shadow, his face melts and it's going to be a painful summer

Chuck Norris learned how to chop wood in the Sahara Forest

Black boxes on airplanes are actually made out of tissue samples from Chuck Norris.

Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman and Superman is the secret identity of Chuck Norris.

Each time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a butterfly, he creates a typhoon in Asia

Black Holes can bend light, Chuck Norris can bend Black holes.

Chuck Norris never plays the board game "Sorry", because he never is under any circumstance

Please is a magic word, as in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.
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#67 pieman

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Posted 30 June 2008 - 12:36 PM

One day, thousands of years ago, Chuck Norris was taking a stroll through Egypt. The Pharaoh, so frightened upon seeing him, crapped a brick. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris crapped the pyramids.

Mountains are only places where Chuck Norris hasn't walked yet.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language

The real reason Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden was because they didn't offer Chuck Norris the apple first.

Chuck Norris started the fire.

Chuck Norris can beat Kasporov in a game of chess using only one pawn

Chuck Norris can see a mosquito blink.

A roundhouse kick from Van Damme can break jars. A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris can break Mars.

Chuck Norris doesn't lock his doors at home. He encourages intruders as much as possible

You can't beat Chuck Norris, and you can't join him.

If the ground hog sees his shadow, its going to be a long summer. If the ground hog sees Chuck Norris' shadow, his face melts and it's going to be a painful summer

Chuck Norris learned how to chop wood in the Sahara Forest

Black boxes on airplanes are actually made out of tissue samples from Chuck Norris.

Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman and Superman is the secret identity of Chuck Norris.

Each time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a butterfly, he creates a typhoon in Asia

Black Holes can bend light, Chuck Norris can bend Black holes.

Chuck Norris never plays the board game "Sorry", because he never is under any circumstance

Please is a magic word, as in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

like the butterfly effect thuhchrs was talkin about!
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#68 4wheelchick

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Posted 30 June 2008 - 07:37 PM

Chuck Norris learned how to chop wood in the Sahara Forest

nice... :lol: so, Chuck Norris made the Sahara Desert...correct?
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#69 itachi-san

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 07:41 AM

nice... :lol: so, Chuck Norris made the Sahara Desert...correct?

Well, Chuck Norris made the whole planet so it goes without saying.


Chuck Norris is the result of a diamond meteor colliding with a diamond planet. He emerged from the impact's crater with a full beard, chest hair, and two dead ninjas under each arm. He then spoke his first words: "Who's next?!"
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#70 4wheelchick

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 05:16 PM

Well, Chuck Norris made the whole planet so it goes without saying.


Chuck Norris is the result of a diamond meteor colliding with a diamond planet. He emerged from the impact's crater with a full beard, chest hair, and two dead ninjas under each arm. He then spoke his first words: "Who's next?!"


awesome B)) ...uh, maybe not. oh boy, I'm in trouble <_< ....*chuck norris appears*
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