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Chuck Norris Jokes
Posted 29 May 2012 - 06:22 PM
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill just laughed at Jack as he sat there unconscious.
Jack should've known that Jill was a baddie . . .
Posted 30 May 2012 - 01:03 AM
Mafiosos and mafiosas of the world, unite! And then kill each other in a particularly tricky move that everyone suspects but never anticipates.
stand back. I'm going to apply logic.
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Posted 24 June 2013 - 05:00 PM
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris once killed a man 3 hours before the fight broke out.
Chuck Norris can leave a message before the beep.
Posted 24 June 2013 - 05:01 PM
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth.
Chuck Norris knows Victorias Secret.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his room, the bears not dead it's just afraid to move.
Posted 20 December 2013 - 11:15 PM
Chuck Norris' keyboard has two buttons: 0 and 1
Chuck Norris' computer can solve the halting problem
Chuck Norris has counted to aleph one. Twice.
Chuck Norris can count the real numbers
Chuck Norris knows all of pi
Chuck Norris's computer never crashes because it is afraid to
Chuck Norris doesn't need antivirus, viruses are afraid to enter his computer
Chuck Norris can type sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root without crashing his computer
When Chuck Norris uses sudo, there are less privileges
Chuck Norris can delete system32 without his computer crashing
Chuck Norris's computer can execute an infinite loop in 2 seconds
Chuck Norris catch 'em all, shiny
Chuck Norris can go back in time, kill his grandfather, and still live
Chuck Norris can run Windows fast
Chuck Norris can see the source code of all binaries
Chuck Norris can break a one time pad
Chuck Norris can decrypt RSA with a public key
Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Linus Torvalds live in constant fear that Chuck Norris' computer will crash
Chuck Norris can construct a set of all sets that don't contain themselves
Global Warming exists because Chuck Norris turned the sun up
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