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Chuck Norris Jokes


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224 replies to this topic

#11 Thuhchris

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Posted 29 May 2008 - 03:58 PM

spartans previously known as 300




HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :lol: :lol:
that is the funniest one i have seen :lol:
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#12 4wheelchick

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Posted 29 May 2008 - 08:50 PM

spartans previously known as 300

Wow! That's funny right der'ah :lol: :lol:
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#13 Michaela

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 01:43 AM

omg those were funny! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#14 ChuckJerry

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 01:18 PM

If at first you don't succeed, then you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
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#15 itachi-san

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 11:46 PM

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the real reason Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race.

Chuck Norris was supposed to have a twin brother but he did not survive Chuck's nine month practice of floating roundhouse kicks

Chuck Norris has never kicked anyone's a** because the mere sight of him makes you kick your own a**

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.

When God sneezes, angels say "Chuck Norris bless you"

Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the lead role on the show 24. But they couldn't get enough footage because he kept killed all of the terrorists in 10 seconds.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he understands is the element of surprise

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds...Walk and Kill.

Mr. T, Arnold Schwarzeneger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest Action Stars the world has ever known and I have a place for the best one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be."
Mr. T steps forward and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell.
Arnold steps up and says "I was in Predator, Commando, and The Terminator. You must choose the Governator!" God tells him it wasn't good enough and sends Arnold to hell.
God then turns to Chuck Norris and asks "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and says "Get out of my seat while I'm still in a good mood."
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#16 Lost in space

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 11:55 PM

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.

Did he visit Lesbos as well?
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#17 4wheelchick

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 02:57 AM

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.
I like this one...it's really funny :lol: yes, I do git it..uh, the joke anyway;)


Mr. T, Arnold Schwarzeneger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest Action Stars the world has ever known and I have a place for the best one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be."
Mr. T steps forward and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell.
Arnold steps up and says "I was in Predator, Commando, and The Terminator. You must choose the Governator!" God tells him it wasn't good enough and sends Arnold to hell.
God then turns to Chuck Norris and asks "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and says "Get out of my seat while I'm still in a good mood."
I like this one too :lol:

Ya know Chuck Norris jokes r always funny :D :lol:
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#18 itachi-san

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 06:18 PM

Did he visit Lesbos as well?

Yeah, it's now one of the biggest straits in the world ;)
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#19 Lost in space

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 08:16 PM

Yeah, it's now one of the biggest straits in the world ;)

He he! - 5* answer
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#20 Brandonb

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 09:16 PM

Yeah, it's now one of the biggest straits in the world ;)

Excellent :lol: , I gotta write that one down.
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