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Proofreading Needed


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6 replies to this topic

#1 rookie1ja

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Posted 28 March 2007 - 04:36 PM

I am not a native speaker and I know that my site on Brain Teasers definitely needs some proofreading. You can make my site more attractive, make the puzzles more easy to understand, select the right words so that it's a real experience just to read the puzzles.

This is the right place where you can suggest any amendments to the wording as you would like it. For instance, my page on Paradoxes is written terribly.

The following Sitemap lists all my pages.

You can make this site better.
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#2 unreality

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 01:44 AM

Awww you have great english man :D

but I did as you wish and found this (copied HTML source code from the Paradox page, near the top, the Liar Paradox)

<h2>Liar Paradox (Eubulid  or Epimenides Paradox)</h2>
<p>
This is a well known paradox written by the great stoical logician Chrysippos. The poet, grammarian and critic Philetus of Cos was said to have died of exhaustion attempting to resolve it.
</p>
<ol>
<li>A Cretan sails to Greece and says to Greek men who stands upon the shore: "All Cretans are liars." Did he speak the truth or did he lie?</li>
<li>A week later, the Cretan sailed to Greece again and said: "All Cretans are liars and all I say is the truth." Although the Greeks ashore weren't aware of what he said the first time, they were truly puzzled.</li>
</ol>
<p>
If someone says about himself that he always lies, is this the truth or a lie?
</p>

I would recommend changing that to:

<h2>Liar Paradox (Eubulid  or Epimenides Paradox)</h2>
<p>
This is a well known paradox written by the great stoical logician Chrysippos. The poet, grammarian and critic Philetus of Cos was said to have died of exhaustion attempting to resolve it.
</p>
<ol>
<li>A Cretan sails to Greece and says to some Greek men who are standing upon the shore: "All Cretans are liars." Did he speak the truth, or did he lie?</li>
<li>A week later, the Cretan sailed to Greece again and said: "All Cretans are liars and all I say is the truth." Although the Greeks on the shore weren't aware of what he had said the first time, they were truly puzzled.</li>
</ol>
<p>
If someone says "I always lie", are they telling the truth? Or are they lying?
</p>

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#3 rookie1ja

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 02:27 AM

ta ... the wording was suggested by Martini ... I guess it's OK, however, if we get some third opinion for your version, I might change it
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#4 unreality

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 05:07 AM

Well this is what stood out (grammatically incorrect) which is what made me read that first part:

and says to Greek men who stands upon the shore

Though if you really want to go for grammar/englishness, my advice would be to ask Writersblock, he's the english guru here ;D
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#5 Duh Puck

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 11:58 PM

Just saw this thread ...

Since nobody else has replied, I'll second Unreality's suggestions. Of his three changes, the first two fix grammatical errors, and the third is simply more natural.

1. "Greek men who stands upon the shore" ... plural "men" with singular "stands." It has to be either "stand" or "who are standing"
2. "the Greeks ashore" ... "ashore" is an adverb, not an adjective. It cannot be used without a verb.
3. "If someone says about himself that he always lies" ... nothing wrong with this, just a little awkward. I like the suggested update.
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#6 rookie1ja

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Posted 24 March 2008 - 12:28 AM

wording changed

let me know if you have improvements for other puzzles
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#7 Lost in space

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Posted 26 March 2008 - 11:09 AM

matchsick equation,

Note that not using the word get improves sentance construction and english usage greatley by omitting or replacing and if necesary reconstructing the sentance.
"Move one matchstick to get the correct equation."
Can be...
for the correct equation.
and arrive at the correct equation.
, correct the equation.
etc
i once tested some non native english speaking on this and they improved overnight (from simple to elaborate to eloquent)

this is not meant to be picky - it's a suggestion for improvement (site or personal), It's only my opinion.
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