Have you ever had a moment where you felt something inside you click? Where you had an epiphany, or saw the world in a new light? A moment that firmly steered, pushed, or pulled you onto a new path, a path you were not aware of, or perhaps a path you never even knew existed before? That, without that moment, you would definitely be the same person you are today?
My clearest memory of a defining moment is from when I was around 10. I did a lot of math competitions when I was a kid. I was fine taking the actual test but would get super nervous during the awards ceremony, desperately wanting to please my very Asian parents (but that's a whole other can of worms).
This one year, at the state level competition, they called the top 10 finalists in each category up to the stage as usual, and then started announcing the awards from position 10 up, also as usual. I was super nervous (also as usual), and if I remember correctly, I did pretty well that year in that category, 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.
As I was coming down the steps from the stage (which were a deep blue...funny how you remember details of important moments), a lady came up to me and was like "Congratulations! It was so good to see a girl up there."
At that moment, I realized something I hadn't noticed b/c I had been so nervous, that I had been the only female finalist in the top 10. In that moment, I found something, even though I didn't realize it at the time. I found a reason for me to try to achieve, to try to be the best I could be, not for me, not even for my parents >.<, but for all the people who thought girls were inferior to boys in math, in science, in life, in everything.
As I grew and matured, that motivation stuck, helped me to push myself past what others and even myself conceived to be my limits, helped me to see past the paths that society tries to put people on, to find my own way, or at least be brave enough to try. It helped me to keep trying to be my best after eventually got over my need for my parents' approval (thankfully), to not go and do crazy things (well, except maybe mafia ;P) that might ruin my life even when I felt lost and confused and depressed.
I mean, I'm definitely not perfect, but I feel like the things I like most about myself, my inner strength, my will, my warrior's spirit, would not have been engendered without that moment. That moment truly created something special .
Anyways, that's enough about me. Looking forward to hearing some of what makes other Braindenizens tick.
Edited by Yoruichi-san, 21 July 2014 - 05:52 AM.