I look at our world and the troubles it has as well as the troubles it has over come. I am grateful for the things i have, a relatively free safe environment, clean water good food, plentiful entertainment. but i somehow can't help but feel a general sense of sadness. like too high a price was paid for it. and is being paid for it. I want to change, but I don't know how or even what to. i feel like i can barely answer some of the basic questions let alone the bigger ones. let me give you some small examples. are we better off as a species with technology or without it? yes we live longer on the whole, but community is the goal, not life, and i don't see much increase in the amount of personal interaction between human beings. we live in the big sprawling cities but we interact on the most part though our computers not in person.
i feel mentally drained myself, from trying to grasp how human beings should behave. i find myself at least once a day contemplating suicide simply because i don't know what to do with myself.
i feel like i missed out on the important lessons in life; love, happiness, curiosity, friendship and replaced it with work, money, and security. :-(