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Evil Genies


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338 replies to this topic

#291 OmegaScales

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Posted 29 August 2013 - 01:31 AM

Boom!

The Earth is just a comic that someone has drawn on a planet called Squamiglia. Even this post is just a figment of their imagination.

 

I wish I could find an incredibly rich, old person almost on their deathbed, who would leave me all their money legally, because they know I wouldn't waste it on stupid and unnecessary things. Like donuts. Or presents for a girlfriend that only cares about my money (or looks)...


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When the fiery moon rises and the frozen sun sets, then the war between good and evil shall come to an end. Until then I, the guardian of both heaven and hell, the keeper of destruction and bringer of peace, shall dream these lives to death and freedom.


#292 phaze

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Posted 29 August 2013 - 02:37 AM

Granted, Found one senile old man. They have lived such a rich and full life that it is only $4.50 which you are condemned to spend wisely rather than spend it all on the winning lottery ticket which I have ensured is the very next one to be sold at your local dairy.

 

The previous genie did grant your wish by choosing what 100,000 things to give you but by being excessively literal you got 100,000 underlines. Be sure not to use any more than that or the universe could start acting in a unpredicatble​ in a MORE unpredictable fashion. Your protest of such a wish being fulfilled implies that it was successfully corrupted. I thank you for your high praises of Evil Genies Inc as it means I get a raise.

 

I wish my raise was much higher than $4.50 


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#293 kestrelknight

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Posted 29 August 2013 - 07:46 AM

Your raise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$4.50


Edited by kestrelknight, 29 August 2013 - 07:46 AM.

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#294 phaze

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 01:05 AM

@KK I'm afraid I cannot accept that as a granting of my wish as you have not yet wished. You have until the next person to wish to remedy the situation or my wish will go though uncorrupted. Mwahahahaha


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#295 kestrelknight

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Posted 30 August 2013 - 07:53 AM

I didn't understand a word of that. Seriously.

 

I wish that phaze made a little more sense just then.

 

Also that the "situation" can be remedied.


Edited by kestrelknight, 30 August 2013 - 07:53 AM.

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#296 phaze

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 10:34 PM

Granted.  Phaze made 50 more cents :D Thank you

I wish for... World Peace


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#297 Aaryan

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:25 PM

Granted.  Phaze made 50 more cents :D Thank you

I wish for... World Peace

Granted, but assuming the human desire for violence still exists, money is poured into the violent-video game market as a release which ends up taking away money from more important investments, causing a global economic collapse, reversion to the bartering system, and a setback in terms of innovation due to lack of funding and interest in personal needs. People who still can't riot end up turning their violent urges on themselves, destroying 1/3 of the global population. During the ensuing lack-of-squabble, nobody can claim the loot in fear of angering others. At the same time, all relief aid to those in third-world countries ends and due to the internal problems, global trade shuts down. Oil, a non-necessary for survival, is no longer collected. People are back to the times of hunting-gathering.

 

I wish that Congress actually had the ability to, and indeed did - make decisions based on the preferences of the American people, in the aim of helping the common man, other countries, and the environment.


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Back in Business. 

 

Are you intelligent? Of course you are. Do you love mind games? Of course you do? Join a Trainer's Manual Mafia in the Games today (well, once one opens up).


#298 phaze

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Posted 01 September 2013 - 11:43 PM

Granted, Anyone who is not a serving member of congress has been deported overseas. This drastically reduces American carbon emissions, and provides cheap skilled labour for other countries.

 

I wish that whoever grants this wish would be subjected to cruel punishment for my amusement.


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#299 OmegaScales

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 02:00 AM

My associate will grant that for you. Enjoy watching him get bit in the crotch by a piranha!

 

I wish to be able to do whatever I want, where ever I want, whenever I want, as many times as I want, without getting in trouble, nor looked down upon, nor interrupted in any way.


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When the fiery moon rises and the frozen sun sets, then the war between good and evil shall come to an end. Until then I, the guardian of both heaven and hell, the keeper of destruction and bringer of peace, shall dream these lives to death and freedom.


#300 phaze

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Posted 02 September 2013 - 10:15 PM

Granted, As it goes against the genie code to change what you want the only solution is mass genocide of ever other sentient be....

 

I wish I exist


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