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Highest Reputation Content


#319564 One Up Me

Posted by Yoruichi-san on 20 June 2012 - 10:51 PM

What happens in quantum statistical thermodynamics stays in quantum statistical thermodynamics...b/c no one else cares.
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#318520 One Up Me

Posted by MikeD on 14 June 2012 - 06:33 AM

Out of the frying pan and on to the floor.
Back into the frying pan, let hope none of the guests saw. :wacko:
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#319300 One Up Me

Posted by tiger_lily111 on 19 June 2012 - 08:25 PM

Use caution when travelling the rural areas of China, because in China, all cows know kung-fu and can tell when you're thinking about steak!
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#315348 Glad it's back!

Posted by flamebirde on 01 May 2012 - 12:09 AM

Agreed. One up this if you are a veteran of the great Brainden Blackout!
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#329232 Crazy People

Posted by BMAD on 02 March 2013 - 11:48 PM

A mathematician and a Wall street broker went to races. The broker suggested to bet $10,000 on a horse. The mathematician was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed:
"I told you, I knew the secret!"
"What is your secret?" the mathematician asked.
"It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine."
"But, three and five is eight," the mathematician protested.
"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally, that my calculation is correct! 3+5=9!" 


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#329199 Crazy People

Posted by BMAD on 01 March 2013 - 07:57 PM

 

Mary received a parrot as a gift. The parrot was fully grown with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was profanity; those that weren't profanity were, to say the least, rude.

 

Mary tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, anything she could think of. Nothing worked.

She yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. She shook the bird and the bird became even madder and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, Mary put the parrot in the freezer to get a minute of peace.

 

For a few moments she heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming. Then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet. Mary was frightened that she might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

 

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Mary's extended arm. Perfectly calm, the parrot said, "I am very sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior, and I am sure it will never happen again."

 

Mary was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"


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#322256 One Up Me

Posted by Aaryan on 14 July 2012 - 05:15 PM

I never thought, therefore I never was.
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#318545 One Up Me

Posted by plainglazed on 14 June 2012 - 01:32 PM

out of the frying pan and-------onto the automatic waterfall glazing machine! glazingmachine.jpg
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#318459 BLACK MAN vs WHITE MAN vs ASIAN MAN

Posted by Aaryan on 13 June 2012 - 10:29 PM

Pandas would never run into a wall, they not not as dumb as humans.

Pandas would never run in the first place.
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#318263 One Up Me

Posted by tiger_lily111 on 12 June 2012 - 07:36 PM

I don't know what I'll find at the end of this. Oh look, it was period.
Now I don't know what I'll find at the end of this-apparently a dash. Huh.
Now to try & get tricky ...
What will I find at the end of this? (Drat, should've seen that one coming.) :P
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#317398 One Up Me

Posted by Brainiac100 on 04 June 2012 - 09:54 PM

Turn about is about to turn.
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#316922 One Up Me

Posted by EDM on 31 May 2012 - 06:29 AM

You can shoot the gun, but...add the bullets, first... :duh:...noobs... :dry: :P
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#317600 One Up Me

Posted by tiger_lily111 on 07 June 2012 - 01:06 AM

Life is a journey through my ex(is)tensive years.
Of gaining wisdom: I have finally come to realize the answer to everything, eloquently stated as follows -

It is what it is, & it ain't what it ain't, 'cept when it is what it ain't, & that's that.
(& also 42)
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#323596 One Up Me

Posted by phaze on 31 July 2012 - 11:17 PM

That was so unexpected, I didn't know that a giraffe could play the piccolo, let alone doing it underwater
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